Burn, Baby Burn
by azenthar
Summary: [Oneshot] WARNING: FLAMMABLE, do not use product near fire, flame or sparks. That didn't stop Axel and Roxas, now did it? [crackfic, let the randomness ensue]


**DISCLAIMER**: Don't own any of these lovely characters that are featured in this…nowhere near of being a lovely story. If that makes any sense…

------------------

"Quick! Before he gets up!"

"Well, it would make things _so _much easier if we had a different get-up!"

The taller Organization member stopped at the sound of his friend's remark promptly causing said friend to run into him and falling on his bum. The dirty blonde haired boy let out a low curse giving the red head before him a glare.

"Now, now…what's better than wearing black leather cloaks that makes us look sexy, huh?" The older of the two friends looked down at the disheveled headed boy flashing him a cheeky smile in return to the younger one's glare.

Roxas rolled his eyes and stood back up, brushing off imaginary dust particles. "I dunno. Maybe…black tuxedoes?"

The red haired Nobody snorted and turned around to walk in the direction they are heading. "Nope. All ready taken by another group. And by the rumours of it, apparently they are still finding about some guy named Sephiroth and a blonde spikey-headed person and this 'end of the world' crap." Axel gave out a small laugh at the thought of the latter while his friend caught up with him giving him an inquiring look. He looked to the younger boy and gave a slight wave of his hand. "Not you, silly…" Roxas let out a slight 'oh', and they continued on walking down the monochromatic halls of Castle Oblivion.

Honestly. Who in their right mind thought up of making _every blasted _room, hallway, and just about every nook and cranny of the whole place WHITE? It's like an endless chasm of…well, nothingness to put it blatantly as possible. Many of the Organization members also questioned why, but every time they asked the Superior, he would look at them each for a brief moment then burst into gut wrenching laughter. Anyways…

Axel and Roxas are on a mission. It wasn't really a mission, more like one of those things that you want to find out and curiosity got the best of you, and you go out and do it. Heck, they'll be lucky to come out of it alive if they actually _do_ succeed on what they are going to do for the next couple of hours. You know what they say, "Curiosity killed the cat", aye?

The halls seemed endless as ever what with all the white flashing everywhere. Axel tried getting Demyx into helping him with giving the place a new makeover by splashing buckets of paint all over the walls. It didn't turn out all pretty when Saϊx (being ever so _faithful_ to his 'master') ratted out them and told Xemnas about their "rambunctious behaviour" as he so eloquently put it. The only splashing Axel and Demyx made was when they had to be sent to Atlantica as punishment. As we all know, fire and water _do not_ mix. Just the mere memory of that terrible event sent shivers coursing throughout the pyro's body. Never again will he ever want to see some half-naked fish people welcoming him through singing. It's enough to hear Demyx giving him wake up calls by merrily chirping 'Good Morning!' at the dead of dawn.

After finally walking past by what seems to be the fiftieth _white_ door, Roxas and Axel arrived at their destination. The door was conveniently marked 'XI' and the two couldn't help but exchange grins at each other as they opened the door.

One would only know how much Marluxia loves to keep things pleasant and orderly. With a few touches by adding some pink flowers and heavily ornate furniture, who could've thought that one, could drown out all the excessive _white_ everywhere? The place was luxurious compared to all the other Organization members' rooms. Roxas' room was nowhere near to the scythe wielding Nobody's. His was just plain with the usual bed, lamp table, and lamp combo with the occasional battered-up rug on the floor. It doesn't take a wise, old man to figure out how Axel's looked like…

"That clean freak, bastard…" Axel muttered, incoherently, under his breath, eyeing the nearby dahlia happily growing on a bedside table. He could've sworn that he saw the floral object waving, nonchalantly, at his remark which urged him even more to burn the wretched thing.

Roxas brought a finger to his lips and made a 'shh' sound before Axel really got into his burning frenzy as they edged closer to the bathroom door.

If Xigbar prancing around wearing a pink tutu like a blithering, drunken idiot down in the briefing room wasn't enough, nothing could prepare them to what they are about to do much less what they are hearing at the moment.

Beyond the _white_ door that separates their target and, quite possibly, their inevitable doom; a voice, which unmistakably belongs to Marluxia, can be heard singing the lyrics to "I'm so Pretty". His voice cracked at a few parts and he was slightly off-key, but that didn't stop him from continuing on with his daily basis of freshening up for a new day while happily singing to his favourite song.

Axel was standing on weak knees (with Roxas' shoulder as his support of maintaining his balance) as he tried his best to stifle back his laughter that was about to come up. Roxas found this amusing and couldn't believe what he is now witnessing. It sure beats that one time when he, Axel, and Demyx shaved off Luxord's beard. Or switching one of Vexen's jars with one that had vomit in it which charitably came from Larxene after telling her what the Superior and Saϊx did on Christmas Eve…

"Oh, what a beautiful morning, isn't it, my lovelies…" Obviously, Marluxia is referring to his flowers that he had that inhabited his bathroom…unless he has voices in his head. He hummed some random tune and rummaged through his cabinets. A bottle slipped out of his fingers as he tried to rearrange some things and crashed to the floor. "Son of a biscuit…" The slightly pink haired man went over to a closet to retrieve a broom and started sweeping the broken shards up.

"What a beautiful morning in my life. The best in life is free. I give it all away and I wonder what more is to come…"

A bit of music always seem to get the energy for him to do some things. He continued singing about some pages being on fire or something.

That's not the only thing that will be set into flames…

Does his morning always start off like this everyday? That's something Roxas wants to know.

At this point, Axel's laughter seemed to be about to peek through and he was shaking all over because of it. Roxas rolled his eyes in annoyance at how ridiculous his friend is acting and jammed his elbow hard into the red head's abdomen causing him to let out a gush of breath. The blonde haired boy smirked receiving a glare from his green eyed friend. After properly preparing themselves before entering on towards their one way ticket to hell, they nodded to each other and stealthily went in.

Marluxia was muttering stuff along the lines of 'stupid bottle' and him getting new gloves for the ones he has are slippery. After cleaning up the broken pieces, he continued on with his 'duties' by combing his hair. Who says being vain is bad? The Graceful Assassin cherished his hair just as much as he cherished his flowers.

"Now for the final touch." The pinkish-brown haired man set his comb down and searched through his cabinets again.

This was their cue.

Marluxia took out a long, black cylindrical can. He took the lid off and sprayed his hair. Axel approached behind the flower-wielding man, a flame dancing at the tip of his finger. He looked over to his friend who gave him the thumbs up, and a smirk gracefully was placed across his face at the sign.

With a snap of his fingers, flames ignited from the tips and met with the airy spread of hair spray about. The flames caught it and set ablaze to the closest object: Marluxia's hair.

Everything happened in a span of three minutes. A frantic Marluxia screamed as his hair was on fire, turning to meet a nervous looking red head and his friend as they inched away towards the exit. For a brief moment, there was a flash of pink petals and a crazy man with murder written all over his face wielding a scythe charging at them, and the next thing you know, they found themselves at the wraith of Xemnas again.

------------------

This time, the punishment wasn't near too awful as having to cope amongst the fishes or having to go through all the trouble into finding some fatass teddy bear.

Instead, Axel and Roxas found themselves scrubbing toilets.

The two boys seem to be having fun about this…or not.

"Heh. At least we found something that makes sense, as to why it is white, ja?" Axel tried to lighten up the mood but clearly it wasn't working. Roxas grudgingly scrubbed the inside of a toilet bowl whilst giving his emerald-eyed friend a glare at his stupid remark. He increased his pace, emphasizing on how frustrated he was with this lame ordeal. Axel noted this and sighed. "At least say something…"

"Something."

At this, Axel couldn't help but roll his eyes at how stubborn his friend is being. "You sound like that one guy."

"What do you mean 'that one guy'? Who?" A pair of cerulean eyes was fixed on the pyro rather than his work, and Roxas couldn't help but plaster on a scowl.

"You know…that one guy I was talking about this morning. That blonde spikey-haired guy that you mistook as being you"

"Oh…"

Axel just smiled and gave out a wave of his hand as he continued washing his fifteenth toilet bowl. "Never mind about that…now we know another thing."

The younger Nobody tossed his toilet bowl scrubber aside and leaned against the wall with his hands behind his head. Roxas cocked an inquisitive brow. "And what would that be?" He saw a gleam in his friend's eyes and it could only mean something stupid.

"Well…at least we now know that Marluxia's hair IS flammable!"

The two best friends looked at each other for a moment then burst out laughing. Each of them exchanged high fives and continued on scrubbing the toilets with beaming faces as if doing this was their most favourite thing in the world.

And somewhere amongst all the many doors that infest the many halls of Castle Oblivion, Marluxia is weeping over the loss of his hair.

"_Next, let's try and get Luxord to convince everyone into playing strip poker!"_

------------------

**A/N**: Just to let you know, I have nothing against Marluxia. In fact, he is one of my favourites. So yeah. :D

The song that he was singing is called "Beautiful Morning" by Ace of Base, if anyone was interested.

And why I put 'ja' instead of 'ya' is because…well, while aimlessly looking through my German textbook, I found that one of the '_Jungen'_ or Boys names that was listed is Axel, so heehee.

T'is my first fic, so go easy on me. XD


End file.
